a letter to my daughter

i hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
never settle for the path of least resistance
livin might mean taking chances but there worth takin
lovin might be a mistake but its worth makin...


JK!

dear little miss tiny "baby sistuh"/daughter of mine:

how you doin in there? i hope the weather is comfortable and the accommodations more than adequate. i do say i think you are outgrowing your current room but, instead of changing to a newer, larger room, why dont you just settle in this one? i really dont know how much more your room could grow, really.  i seem to be carrying you a little lower than bennett, and you feel heavier, but im nearly 100% sure its because there are no ab muscles holding you in place.  lets just say mommy was not in as good a shape pre-this pregnancy vs. pre-bennett pregnancy.

i do thank you kindly though for your recent treatment of your mother.  i am feeling great and crash into deep dream-filled sleep every night {probably partially due to your big brother}.  the snoogle is still surprisingly in the attic.  my blood pressure is quite low and therefore has been making me very sluggish and sometimes lightheaded.  however dr helen suggested at my last appointment that i drink a little bit of gatorade and voila! energy {generally speaking} returned and no more lightheaded-ness! victory

oh, and did you know you have a name? 
well, a first name at least.  daddy and i keep thinking we have your middle name figured out but then we go and change our mind again.  the whole "name game" has become somewhat of a sport for those who love you the most.  its become this big "secret" to everyone else, when in fact its not a secret at all, we just havent decided on it yet.  i am constantly reassuring friends and family that they will know as soon as we know, but not any sooner ;)
you do have a simple little onesie with your name embroidered on it, and i catch myself carrying it around on my shoulder sometimes.  i already feel like its become a part of you, since its the first {and only} thing we have with your name on it.  something about it makes you feel more tangible, and i cant wait to tangible the heck out of you.

i wonder who you will look like...i keep picturing a more feminine bennett. 

but then again how can i really picture anything else?  thats what i know.

speaking of your big brother, he is already smitten with you.  while i used to say "i think this is all over his head" to those who asked, i think he actually kinda "gets" some of it now.  in that two year old kind of way. 

he talks about you regularly and kisses you spontaneously and has started asking when we can "go to the hospital and get [you] out".  he sees your picture on my phone, smiles and says "thats my little sistuh! hi-eeee little sister.  hi-eee!"

listening to your heartbeat

he even found some gifts of yours from friends and ran into my room with one of your blankets and a little pink elephant screaming in exclamation and disbelief: "this is [your name]'s blanket mommy!  this is for my little sister!  [your name]'s elephant! this elephant makes noise."  he had never seen them before and i guess since they were pink {an unknown color in this house} he thought they were yours. 
and now going back to the whole "growing out of your room" thing, he has even started saying "[your name]'s getting BIIIIIG.  mommy getting big too."  so thanks for that, my delicate precious tiny magnolia of a baby girl.

i have made a vow that you will have a room before you are born.  and thats as far as ive gotten deadline-wise.  as far as i see it, i have to first get bennett moved out of your room-to-be and into a newly decorated big-boy-room {which is yet to be done, btw}, THEN embark on mission::nursery. 

accent fabric for bennetts room:

 a print i bought a while back for your nursery:

as long as its all done before you are three months old, i say we are a step ahead of our previous "curve." 

overall this pregnancy is flying by.  warp speed kind of thing.  its scary and exciting and a little surreal.  with bennett, all my spare time was devoted to daydreaming about my pregnancy and the little baby i was carrying.  with you, all my spa - wait...whats that word again?  yeah, dont really have that anymore.  so while i may not have the time to sit and ponder all the wonders of pregnancy like i did last time, do know that i dont count this pregnancy as any less of a pure miracle.  i love being pregnant, and feeling you move, and now sharing in and daydreaming about it all in a brand new way.  this time, your daddy and i know what we are getting into.  which actually gives us such a deeper understanding of all that is taking place - and we are able to truly stand in awe of all God is working in you even as i type this.  i have no doubt that there is more than enough love in both your daddy and i to love you in just the incredibly indescribable way we love your brother -  bennett will always be my favorite bennett; and you are already my favorite you.

so, keep up the good work and get ready for lots of baby dancing.  i think i danced around my room with tiny infant bennett more than i ever just sat and held him - and im very much looking forward to doing the same with you.

in fact if youre not careful, you and your brother might just end up being the next julianne and derek hough

i kid, i kid.

or do i.....
;)

love you little miss!  your arsenal of pink is steadily growing and i have to say it really goes great with everything

xo
momma