payback

so, it seems our 16 month old really DID notice we were gone for far too long, and wanted us to know about it.

when we picked him up on saturday afternoon, he was a little confused.  happy to see us, but wanted whomever wasnt holding him.  couldnt make up his mind.  and if one of us walked away from the other, he threw a fit about it.  he wanted BOTH of us, right there, attention on HIM, and he wanted it PRONTO.

we came home, went to bed, then went to church sunday morning.  i was hesitant about taking him to the nursery, but both of us really didnt want to miss church so we went anyway. 

ummm might not have been our grandest decision.  bennett screamed when we left him {but piped down once we were gone} and was crying when we went to pick him up.  way out of character.

then, at ruby tuesdays for lunch, he decided stephen and i were giving our salad bar far too much attention {ie not focusing that eating attention on HIM} and proceeded to throw a fit there, too.  our lunch outing lasted short of twenty minutes.

came home, bennett went down for a nap, slept good and long, then just acted out the rest of the evening.  it was obvious he was craving for our attention, BOTH of our attention, AT THE SAME TIME and continued to reach for whichever one of us wasnt holding him.

monday, he woke up and was right back to his "normal," spunky, loving, active self. he's been great ever since.

the whole "punishment" was sad and sweet to watch, but honestly didnt make me regret going on our vacation.  does that sound horrible???  i mean, i love this child more than i can put into words {so i wont even attempt it}, but i really do feel like this "vacation" was good for all of us.

stephen and i had lost most of "our" time over the past two years, as hard as we had tried to keep it.  we try to have dates, try to spend that quality time with each other, but too often we opt for our comfortable routine, which includes {dare i say it} too much tv and not enough US.  

so last summer, when we initially planned this cruise, we really needed it.  please dont be mislead though - our new all-about-bennett time was and IS exactly what we want and love.

i just think too often parents tend to turn to where the baby becomes first in everything and the husband-wife relationship is lost somewhere between diaper changes and sippy cups.  this time in our lives is meant for "all about the baby," and i think that is absolutely wonderful; we just dont need to put the marriage relationship on the indefinite back burner. 

a main ingredient to having a happy healthy child is a happy healthy marriage.  

thats just my opinion.

SO - we took our cruise.  and it was just what the doctor ordered.  stephen and i had 144 blissful-relaxation-to-the-max just us hours, where we found "us" again, but also found a new appreciation of what our new "us" is now.  

not only do i think this time away is good for us, but good for bennett as well.  i love teaching him independence.  i want him to be comfortable with both sets of grandparents and be almost as familiar with their houses as he is with his own.  i want him to find appreciation and love for his parents through this independence.  

what?  he is only 16 months?  am i getting ahead of myself?....

i dont think so.  as my neighbor told me: sometimes parents need a break from "the kids," but sometimes kids need a break from "the parents" too, no matter how young they are :) 

and it is a good and precious thing to be able to come home to this