12 Months of Bennett: Month ONE

In the First Month of Motherhood my Bennett gave to me

a family of two becomes three

It really is true, the "you come to the hospital as two, and leave as three" sentiment. More than just the math behind it all. Stephen and I paused as we got out of the truck at the hospital, I took a picture of an empty car seat

and we looked at each other and said "next time we see this truck we will have Bennett with us." It was an extremely exciting and emotional time. You see, we had Bennett two and a half weeks early, by induction. Here is the story of how our family of two became three:

So we are pregnant. Not explaining that part :) Early on in the pregnancy, they notice that Bennett has a dilated kidney. Just a little fluid retention, nothing serious, just needs to be monitored which = more ultrasounds. Besides the whole going home and "googling" hydronephrosis, I was pretty at peace with his "state." It was so minor that the doctor truly believed he would outgrow it. Well, not the case for this little man.

At my 37 week appointment, Stephen joined me because we were having our last ultrasound. We saw an extremely squished little baby, with cheeks and lips so big they would give the Pillsbury Dough Boy and Angelina Jolie a run for their money. He was perfect. Except for one little thing.

We went to the exam room, and our doctor came in and told us that "yes, Bennett still has fluid in one of his kidneys." And then in the exact same breath she said "I would like for you to come in tomorrow, I think tomorrow is clear, and have a C-section. I really would like for Bennett's kidneys to be examined in real life. He is a big boy and you are both healthy, I really believe it is the right thing to do at this point." I immediately asked "so we need to have him tomorrow?" Yes. I then asked her if there was a way I could try to have him "normally." She said OK if I wanted to try (side note: I have a history of big C-section babies in my family, and the doctor did not believe I would be able to have Bennett without a C-section. She didn't really ever say this until after I had Bennett, but I could tell she was pushing toward a c-section in those days before Bennett's birth. Oh yeah, and they were estimating Bennett weighed 9lbs and 13oz at this 37 week ultrasound.)

9lbs 13oz

Stephen and I talked about it for a couple minutes, I cried, and we both decided we wanted me to try and have Bennett without a c-section. This was on a Thursday. Stephen had to drive up to Thomasville, AL to get some instruments (or drop some off, I don't remember) for work, so I rode up with him, just to give us some time alone, together, to let all that was about to happen sink in. We made our phone calls to family and friends, and then went through the lists of things we needed to get done tomorrow (Friday) before we were to be at the hospital at 4pm (or 5? I don't remember).

Friday morning, we woke up bright and early, and both families came over to help get things ready...we had guys installing plumbing in the hall bathroom, hanging doors, painting doors, installing door hardware, and helping out a ton. My sisters, mom, and I ran to Babies 'R Us and racked up on THINGS

- I made some frantic calls to a good friend to help with "all the things I need to have to nurse a newborn baby." We were so unprepared. Our nursery furniture was not yet in, I had not packed for any of us for the hospital. It was crazy at our house. I took a shower, and Stephen and I headed to the hospital. We arrived on a very quiet labor and delivery hall, and were taken to the most monstrous room there. We felt like we were in a suite.We sat on the sofa bed and waited. and waited. and waited. Finally a nurse came in and sucked all the blood out of my body - seriously, do they really need THAT MUCH blood? I just held Stephens hand and stared at him the whole time to get my mind off the HUGE EVIL NEEDLE SUCKING ALL MY BLOOD. UGH!!! Have I mentioned I hate needles??

Then there was some more waiting. Apparently like 30 women had just come in, all in labor, and the nurses were busy. My doctor came in awhile later to check on me, and was shocked they hadn't started any of the medicine yet. She went searching for a nurse, and when she couldn't find one available, she came in and hooked me up to all the monitoring devices herself, which she said she had never done before. It meant so much that she came in on her weekend off to do this, and then she sat and chatted with us for awhile. It was a great "get to know you better" session and I was glad Stephen was able to really get to know the lady who was to deliver our baby! After our doctor left, Stephen's parents came to visit, bearing gifts: Chick-Fil-A. My last meal of sorts. I hadn't seen Laura (Stephen's mom) since the news broke (I don't remember why...she had work maybe?) so it was good to see her and Fred.The nurses finally came in and did all the medicine/IV stuff (a great big ole YUCK to all of that, too). Stephen and I tried to go to sleep, but with contractions starting and Stephen being on a DELUXE sleeper-sofa, we didn't get much at all. I honestly don't think I ever fell asleep. How can one sleep at a time like this anyway???

Early morning rolled around and I was able to get up and take a shower. When I got back in my bed, my water was broke. Now THAT is something I hope I never have to experience again. I will do all I can to let that thing break on itself next time. GEEZ.

Contractions were coming and going, as were family members. I knew it was getting bad when I opened my eyes and realized I had sort of passed out from the pain. It was to the point that the lights were hurting my eyes and I couldn't talk. So I decided to give in to the epidural, and Stephen was very happy. I wanted to look at the needle, but they didn't let me. The epidural didn't hurt AT ALL. I barely felt it. I think it was bc of the other pain I was experiencing, but my experience with the epidural wasn't bad at all. I laid back down, and continued to feel contractions. and continue to feel them. and so on. They cam back in and gave me a second dose of medicine. Nothing. A bit later, they came in and gave me a different type of medicine - this one would effect muscle control as well as numb nerves. Nothing happened. So, after a bit more, they decided to try the epidural again. Take the other one out, redo the whole thing in a different place in my spine. This time, my right leg went completely numb, while my left side was at least a little relieved. And so it went. I still felt the contractions on my left side, but not on my right.

Eventually I was at 8cm. This was a complete shock to me, as I just knew I wasn't going to dilate. I don't know why. Just didn't think I would do it. So we texted our family, who was in the waiting room, that I was at 8cm. Lots of "yay!" and "baby soon!" texts received. The nurse left after checking me and, almost immediately, I felt extreme pressure and the urge to push. As in I looked at Stephen and said "You may want to go get the nurse because I am about to have a baby." This was at 1:27pm. Stephen ran outside and when they got back, the nurse checked and sho' nuff I was at 10cm. The song that was playing on my ipod at that moment was "These are the Days" by Van Morrison...the song Stephen and I danced to at our wedding. What are the odds, right? (I had a playlist of about 100 of my favorite calming happy songs, and it played on the Bose speaker in my room during the entire labor and birth. I HIGHLY recommend it.)

I started pushing and, 45 minutes later, at 2:20pm, Bennett Michael Roe was born. All 8lbs 5oz of him. And he was GORGEOUS. They fussed over Bennett and me for awhile, and when everyone was ready, our parents were invited in to the room. A nurse went out to get them, and they all said later that they thought the nurse was coming to tell them that I was going to have to have a C-section. (remember the last text they got said "8cm") However, they were brought in to our room and greeted with a new family of three. And their first grand baby. There were tears and squeals in abundance. After they all got a moment with their baby (or really just got to look at him while I held him. Like I was going to give him up that easily...) our brothers and sisters and my friend Candice came in. More squeals and camera phone picture taking. Stephen held Bennett and showed him to everyone, while I wondered how much longer I was going to have to prop myself up in the sitting position and keep my eyes open. I found myself again opening my eyes just to realize I had fallen asleep while people were talking to me. It was now quiet time for me and my two boys.

MY TWO BOYS.

I still love saying it.Over the next couple days, I fainted a bunch and paled myself to a unique ghastly white hue, and we had tons of wonderful family and friends visit. I was having serious hot flashes, and froze everyone out of our room, including my extremely hot-natured husband. But then again, I felt no sympathy for any of them. I was burning hot and just had a baby. So throw on your coats visitors and enjoy your stay in my igloo.Bennett was with us in our room at all times, except for at night when he was in the nursery and brought to me every two hours to nurse. I would have loved for him to stay right there in the room with us, but I was sick and exhausted and weak and we both (Stephen included) needed our sleep. They also came in and took my "vitals" every two hours, which of course NEVER coincided with Bennett visits. Go figure.

On New Years Eve, 2007, we tucked Bennett in his little car seat (of course wrongly at first, and the nurse had to correct us), and checked out of the hospital as a family of three. It was the most rewarding and exhausting four days of my life.

And that is how, in the first month of motherhood, my Bennett gave to me

a family of three.