One Year Ago Today

The Day that changed our lives forever.

I have been patiently waiting this day for awhile now - the one day that marks one year from all of last year's excitement. I still can't believe its here.

Last year this day was on a Monday, the Monday after Mother's Day. It was one of the best days of my life, and I can remember it so vividly. I remember the early morning light in our bathroom, the feel of our old carpet under my feet in our bedroom, and the tears streaming down my face when I finally looked up from what was in my hands to see that I had somehow made it, almost crawling on the floor due to sudden weakness in my legs, to the full length mirror in our bedroom. I was in shock, but at the same time I had known it was true. Really known this time.

Last Mother's Day weekend, my mom, sisters and I had a "Girl's Weekend" (we try to do this at least once a year, just to hang out and, honestly, shop). We have been to Birmingham, Atlanta, New Orleans, but this year we just went over the bay to Daphne and Fairhope. We shopped and stayed at the Fairhope Inn and had a wonderful dinner (and some wonderful wine). This whole weekend I was keeping a secret, the best secret that (at that point) I had ever kept: Stephen and I were trying to have a baby. As in this was the first month and I was on cloud nine. We both had agreed to keep the whole thing secret until, by God's grace, we did get pregnant, and then keep it until at least the first ultrasound. I think we were just both so skeptical(? I guess that's the right word) and didn't think this would be an easy thing. I had thought that ideally I would love to have a baby in the spring, around April or so, so we needed to start trying a year ahead of time. [Funny I actually tried to plan this - I know better now - God has his own plans! (As did Bennett)]

That whole day shopping I just kinda felt weird. Just mainly tired, which is not like me. I didn't think anything of it at all, until dinner Friday night. We drank some great wine and ate some great food, but for some reason nothing tasted good to me. Which is also weird bc I love me some food, and wine for that matter. I am not picky. Again, I didn't say anything, and when we went to bed that night, I couldn't for the life of me get comfortable for numerous reasons that I won't mention here. As I was cursing in my head and wondering why, when I had been so tired all day, I could not fall asleep, it all of a sudden hit me. Well it more like finally came to the forefront. I had been looking for reasons to believe I was pregnant the past week, as the middle of May was fast approaching, but knew that I was searching for anything to reveal itself as a "sign."

When we woke up Saturday morning, I knew I was pregnant. I just felt completely different. We shopped then drove to the beach to meet the guys. I didn't say anything. Stephen had heard enough of me "thinking I was pregnant" over the last couple years of marriage. And this time I wanted to really be sure before I said anything to him. So after coming back to Mobile, and after waking up bright and early Monday morning right after Stephen had left for work (at the crack of dawn like usual), I took the test. And life as I knew it was changed. Life as I knew it was not over. Just vastly improved. I drove to Walgreen's in a slight daze (probably shouldn't have been on the road in that crazed state so early in the a.m. but I wasn't thinking about shouldve's and shouldntve's at this particular moment) to get a digital test, just so I could see there in plain English. So I went home, and saw it in plain English.

I spent the rest of the morning NOT working, but coming up with how I was going to tell Stephen. I didn't want to do it over the phone. How was I going to get him home to tell him? I couldn't keep it in and be all casual over the phone when he called during the day. I had already made the menu for the "Announcement Dinner" when Stephen called and quickly said "Can you pack my suit and blah blah blah I have to go to Birmingham for work today - they just told me." He was going to be home in 15 minutes and have to pack and leave immediately to get up there in time. And he was spending the night. And I was leaving early the next morning (Tuesday) to go to Montgomery for overnight for work. And the "Announcement Dinner" gave way to the "Announcement in 15 minutes."

I quickly put the two tests in a small gift bag and waited for Stephen to get home. He came in frantic and started packing. I just said Happy Monday and then walked up to him and gave him the bag. He opened it and for two seconds was confused and then a huge genuine Stephen smile broke across his face and he said "You're..." and I said "pregnant." "Really?" "Yes." "Well that was easy!" And seriously, what a blessing from God that it was! We were both shaking and crying and hugging and so so so happy. And then Stephen said "How am I supposed to drive to Birmingham now??" And I said "How am I supposed to not be with you for this for the next three days??"

And just as quickly as he came, he had to leave. I was sad to have only those short moments to share in our new joy, but knew that this was just the beginning and we were going to have plenty of time to relish in our new little secret...a secret we kept for 5 more weeks. More of that to come :)

What a wonderful year it has been, and as I look back now, I cant wait to have that feeling all over again. What a wonderful cycle of life this is!!!

Me and my goofy self portrait minutes after finding out. I have an innate need to document everything with pictures.