jacobs story

this baby couldnt have come with a simple scheduled induction could he?
of course not.
jacob preston was on his own schedule and writing his own story from the very beginning.

he is a week old today and life is...very FULL. ;)
actually as crazy as this time of year is, he couldnt have been more "convenient" on his timing.  kids are out of school so i dont have to worry about/juggle that, holidays are here so stephen isnt working AS much {he doesnt exactly get "time off" with his job...so we are lucky for the break/slow in business this time of year}.
im already anticipating the wake up hour of 6:45 or so to be the hardest part of the day.  i like to start the day at 6:30 or so with my babies, and he needs to eat, emory wakes up around the exact same time and wants her milk/bfast NOW, bennett wakes up with her and insists on his cereal "before you feed the babies."
everyone {minus the baby...} is going to have to learn they dont always get what they want right when they want it.  i think that will be a lesson for all of us now, with this whole juggling of the kids thing.
this week has been a week of attempting to catch up on sleep {yep, attempting to CATCH UP on sleep WITH a newborn...new concept...more on this later}, snuggling with a laid back and an incredibly cute if-i-do-say-so-myself newborn, balancing two babies that always need to be held at the exact same time, dealing with a super sensitive at times three year old who is just adjusting to the shift of attention, dealing with a needy one year old who is just adjusting to the shift of attention, finding special time to spend with each of these older kiddos so they dont feel left out...whether its taking one to the grocery store, taking the other to the hardware store, giving one or both away to a grandparent for some special away time, reading books and playing board games while newborn is sleeping..., eating whatever we can throw together and not really worrying about it much, building fires all day, opening christmas cards {and lamenting the fact that we arent sending them out this year...but honestly being ok with it and looking forward to our family valentines card...or easter card...or memorial day card...whatever it ends up being}, and wondering when or IF christmas presents are ever going to be wrapped :)

and now, jacobs story 

its friday night, eight o clock, december 9th, and the sickness comes.
tummy virus at its MOST EVIL. go to bed, not to sleep, cry on the bathroom floor, crampy tummy, crampy contractions.  my dad comes to get bennett and emory early saturday morning.  stephen was sick too, but feeling a smidge better than me saturday morning so he handled the hand off.
i was in bed all day, getting no sleep, contractions timed around twelve minutes apart.  i call the nurse on call and she suggests its probably dehydration.  tells me to take a zophran so i can keep some liquids down.  i do this around noon or so? im able to drink two glasses of gatorade and later two glasses of water.  still feeling like death.  my skin hurts and my contractions are getting really painful and eight to ten minutes apart.  i talk to on call nurse again {who was with her kids at wal mart...God bless} and she says she is supposed to tell me to go to the hospital and at least get some fluids.
i really dont want to be one of those girls who hits up the hospital in false labor just to be sent home.
really didnt want to be that girl.
SO we sit around some more, contract some more, not sleep some more, contractions get closer to around 6 minutes apart and are really starting to hurt.  they get to the point that i know i was getting an epidural with bennett and emory at this pain level.  its four thirty and im lying on the sofa and all of a sudden the contractions are every three minutes apart.  no warning. they are basically making me cry.
we gather our things in a hurry, but sort of not in a hurry bc i am annoyingly proclaiming this might actually not be labor and its probably just dehydration and maybe we should wait and see if the contractions keep coming and blah blah whine whine and then the next contraction hits and lasts a good two minutes and i am in the car faster than stephen can say "stop being ridiculous".
the contractions remain at 3-5 minutes apart until i literally get hooked up to the machine at the hospital and then they slow to six minutes apart.

the nurse says im dehydrated and will probably go home in the morning.
i AM 2.5cm tho, so those painful contractions DID get me somewhere at least.
we finally decide to call our families and let them know where we were.
and tell them not to come bc it doesnt look like there will be a baby tonight.  or tomorrow apparently bc as soon as that first bag of fluids emptied the contractions slowed to around 15 minutes apart and eventually 20-30.

but yall.
they still HUUUUUUURT.  they gave me some sort of something in my iv that made them better but by midnight when we "went to bed" i still couldnt fall asleep. well i guess i just woke up every thirty minutes if i did.
4am comes and contractions are every six minutes apart again.
and i am 5cm and family is called.
epidural is had.
i fall asleep in the middle of talking to people, and again feel guilty that i am in labor and feeling so relaxed.
but the relaxation is much appreciated seeing that no sleep has been had over the past 36 hours.
jacob is born very quickly and surreal-ly, as in instead of tears with like our first two, stephen and i are just looking at each other saying, literally, "did that just happen?" "did we just have a baby?" "this is crazy!".

in simplest terms we are in absolute awe.
from the second we found out about this third blessing of ours, the journey has been surreal.
the pregnancy just felt like a continuation of the previous one.
people we didnt see much thought i was still pregnant...as in same pregnancy as the one before.  they were always a little confused at first :)

when bennett was born we were both so speechless there wasnt much "thought" to be had.  we just blubbered like babies and had NO EARTHLY IDEA what we were getting into.

with emory, we blubbered like babies and thought OMG SHES HUGE and LORDY LOOK AT THOSE EYELASHES.

with jacob, we thought "that was crazy" and OMG LOOK HOW BIG HIS HANDS ARE.
i held him for the first time, stephen came up and said "hey buddy" and jacob turned his head and looked at stephen.

surreal.

 

he is so calm.

and so pretty.

he was not jaundice {our other two were}.

he slept both nights at the hospital until we woke him to feed him.

his brother spent an afternoon at the hospital with us and obsessed all over his little brother.

emory

she did not enjoy her visits and family took turns taking her out of the room so she did not see me in a bed hooked up to devices holding SOMEONE OTHER THAN HER.

until we gave her some food

jacob preston is here and its like he always has been.

its amazing how much love your heart is spontaneously capable of producing.

i know we are only a week in but i can say with certainty that we are keeping him

bennett loves him and wants to hold him all.the.time.
emory loves pointing to and saying "bay bee" and giving him his "bay bee paci"

and pointing to his eyes {gotta watch this...}

i have {finally} reached a point in my life where i feel that i wont have an issue asking for help.
i dont know how breakfast and lunches and naps and dinner time are going to work without daddy here.
i dont know how im going to get them to school and pick them up and still feed the baby when he is hungry.
i dont know how im going to ever catch up on the sleep ive lost since last thursday night.
and honestly its ok.
i think this third pregnancy/baby has changed a lot in me.
i think God knew that.

all i do know is this charge of motherhood is great.  it involves every part of you and evokes every emotion. you can feel on top of the world and completely helpless at the same exact time.
people do it every day but its still the most special, miraculous gift.
i may be on number three but lets just say i dont even remotely have it all figured out.

but i have a wonderful partner who is "all in" with me on this, who gives 100% of himself to me and the children, with whom i have never felt insecure or uncertain about our future together, because from the very beginning we have just always known this is how we were meant to be.

for each other.

happy seven days

 

happy seven years