create live design: it is time

with the giving up of blog reading, i also seemed to have given up frequent posting. in the process, i have not necessarily forgotten to, but i guess neglected to update the bennett kidney status...

tomorrow (tuesday) morning we are going in at 8:15am for a renal scan, then 10:40 appointment with the urologist. not a fun morning. here is a quick run down of the events:

bennett CAN have breakfast, which - with this child - forgoing breakfast would cause more heartache and duress than the procedure itself {i imagine}
bennett can NOT be sedated. they dont want there to be any adverse reaction to anything that would effect the results of the scan
i, on the other hand, CAN be sedated. however, i am choosing not to and plan on consciously seeing my child through this day, with the shoulders of "my two moms" and a wonderful husband for support
bennett will most likely be tied to a papoose board {nothing about that sounds comforting in ANY way} to keep him still
they have to give him an IV to administer the tracer and lasix (diuretic). where do they put the IV? i dont know. im thinking head, bc that is where they usually do it for babies. this, again, provides no comfort
i have been instructed to bring lots of diapers
the procedure should last 45 minutes or so. that is 45 minutes too long. but it is 45 minutes closer to an answer to this issue that has been lingering since that visit so long ago where we learned we were expecting a beautiful baby BOY
i dont know if i can/will be in there or not. i dont know which would be better, anyway: baby in duress and needing mother's comfort while mother is helpless and cannot administer any comfort, or baby in duress which leads to increased duress when baby sees mother - so better to leave mother out of baby's sight. i will let you know how that goes...
paci's and blankies will accompany us. i pray they let bennett have both

i sure do hope i am making a bigger deal out of this than it is. i pray we go in there, bennett is eerily calm, the test is done, and we walk out with nothing more than a quick tear or two. i can pray - right?

prayers also said for there to be NO FLUID OR BLOCKAGE. i really do believe that both/either could be gone. just "disappeared." i believe this because i believe in a God that heals and that has the ultimate and only power to do so. we are so thankful that this is just a small hurdle and that this is all we have to worry about. there are so many others out there who are struggling with/dealing with much larger, much graver, much scarier situations with their loved ones/children, so many more that deserve our prayers.

but i pray this journey is over for us. i pray bennett is healthy and the hydronephrosis is gone. i believe with all my heart that this is possible.

but i just cant shake the realist in me that says this isnt the probable outcome. the realist tells me he will probably have to have surgery and a stint to correct the fluid retention. i pray pray pray this isnt the case.

but if it is, i am thankful for bennett's wonderful doctor and the quality care bennett will receive. i am thankful this is something that can be fixed.

and i am thankful that bennett is, in spite of this, healthy.

thank you for reading this and for caring about my family.

your comments and prayers and phone calls and texts and thoughts mean so much.

i am so very thankful for

"Heal me, O LORD, and I shall be healed;

Save me, and I shall be saved,

For You are my praise."

~Jeremiah 17:14